
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11116374.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      Multi
  Fandom:
      None_-_Fandom
  Additional Tags:
      Depression, Suicide, selfharm, Self_Harm, Anxiety, Abusive_Relationship,
      Verbal_Abuse, Anorexia, self_discovery, Mental_Illness, Mental_Hospital,
      teen, Girl_-_Freeform
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-06-07 Chapters: 1/20 Words: 2363
****** Down We Fall ******
by Giniro
Summary
     Aki is a 15 year old girl living in a city called Asheville. She is
     constantly verbally abused by her parents, bullied at school,
     harassed by boys and even worse her own friends show their truest
     colors to her and turn their backs on her. Her only friend is a razor
     blade and suicide notes and the voices in her head. She has scum to
     her demons and her sanity is running low. Will she find the light in
     the dark abyss or will it be too late to save a her life?
     The addiction is just the start.
      
     Hi guys this is going to be a real graphic story and some of the
     details in here depict events that happened in my life. Names and
     some situations have been changed. Enjoy
I sit in my room and stare out the window on the second floor of my house. On
my bed is scattered my own song lyrics, my lighter and my cat Charlie.
I look for constellations, each individual star connecting the dots one at a
time with my finger. In my left hand is a cigarette wasting away. A small
glowing stub just barely there and it tastes fucking disgusting. I can't stand
them but I love them. I hold the stub outside the window and let it drop down
into the bushes outside.
I look back up at Leo's constellation and I see light zoom pass the sky in just
mere seconds. A shooting star. I make a wish. A wish that I will find my own
star. Not a star that will just shoot across the sky and leave me alone. I
don't want any star to go...
I look at my clock and it reads 3:21 am. A gloomy Saturday morning. The sky is
a mellow blue stained with some yellow. So I leave my window open and fall
asleep to the soft music coming from my record player.
/////////////////////////////
 
I feel a paw touch my face. I scrunch my nose in my half sleep state. I feel it
again this time with a meow.
Oh Charlie, are you hungry?
She stars rubbing her head on my face and purrs very loud. She stares at me
with her big bright yellow eyes and then proceeds to lick her grey soft fur.
I decide to get out of bed. I fell asleep in my white t-shirt and yellow and
blue shorts with a yellow tiny bow on each side. I open my door and listen
carful for any signs of human activity.
Nothing. Absolutely no sounds. Except for a mere car driving by.
With Charlie at my feet, I head out my bedroom door and straight ahead to the
stairs. I place my feet on the cold but smooth oak wood stairs. I look out the
front door's side windows and see that both my parents cars are gone. Figures.
I head into the kitchen and grab some cat food and put it in Charlie's bowl.
She licks my hand as I pour the food as her thank you. She's the cutest.
I look at the stove and the time reads 11:23 am. I have plenty of time before I
have to go to work. I turn on the kettle, in my opinion, an oversized kitchen.
I grab a pale blue coffee cup I painted when I was 10 and grab coffee grounds.
When the water finishes boiling I make my coffee and bring it to the living
room. It's also quite oversized. My house is kinda big because it was my
mothers dream to have a nice house. Yet they are never satisfied and barely
take care if this one. Windows are broken, faucets are leaky, lots of junk
piles in the corners and barely any light makes it into the house, even with
the shades up. I only have 2 siblings, plus me and my parents so, I don't see
why we need all this extra crap, they aren't even home more then half the time.
My mother, Amaya, works as a full time as a assistant for a cosmetics store 
and even does night shifts as a janitor near by Wall-burgs . She always
complaining about something wether it's finical or my dad or even the goddam
way I breathe. My father, Damian, works for an electrical company and spends
his time getting drunk and high with his friends but he thinks we don't know.
He rarely wants to be around us anyways. They probably forgot they had a
daughter named Aki Zora.
I turn on the TV to see what's on but nothing catches my eye so I turn it off.
I take a few more sips of my coffee and walk upstairs with it. I put it on my
wooden bedside table. I grab some black leggings, my yellow and pink stripped
sweater , which I bought at a thrift store a year ago. Then white socks along
with blue stary underwear and a matching purple bra. I head to the bathroom and
set my glasses down and take a nice hot shower. Most of the time when I'm alone
it's when my mind tries to tear me down and it becomes a war with myself...
You aren't good enough
You are loser
You are fat
You shouldn't be alive
I quickly finish up and get out. I wrap my curly brown hair in a towel and get
dressed. I put on deodorant and some mascara. I brush my teeth and head back to
my room. I grab my backpack and grab my wallet, my Checkered brand cigs, a
lighter, my phone which I should probably check, my charger, water, some
crackers, my music journal and a pen and lastly my keys. I put on my green
boots with black buckles and head downstairs.
Charlie is sitting on the island chairs and I scratch her ears and she purrs. I
leave her some extra food and water and head out the door. I decide to walk to
work instead of driving because it is pretty close. I head down my street and
take a left at the end. It's the middle of October so it's kind of chilly but
I'll be fine. I walk for 20 more minutes and I finally reach the building. The
sign reads "Asheville Bookstore". I walk in and the bell on the door rings. I'm
greeted by my boss Jenna. She's an older women in her late 40s. She's been
single for a while and is very high spirited. She has shoulder length wavy
brown hair and wears dark green eyeshadow which brings out her blue eyes. She's
a little bit shorter then me so I help her out a lot.
I head behind the counter and toss my backpack in the corner. I check my phone
before I stand behind the cash register. I have one text from my mom saying
she's working late and going out with friends, nothing from my father and as
for my own friends I have none. Zero. Nothing. Lonely.
I put my phone in my boot and turn the closed sign to open. The store is medium
sized there's large maple wood shelves filled with books of all genres. My
favorite is the novel section and sometimes I get to take home the really old
ones that haven't sold. In the middle of the store there's seats where people
can sit down and enjoy their coffee or a bagel which they can order at the
counter. The store is well known so a decent amount of customers come in and
out. The front door bell jingles as a group of girls giggling come in and ask
for all sorts of coffees and lattes with bagels. I run around trying to make
all their orders since my boss is busy organizing in the back room. I hand them
all their orders and they pay. They all gather and sit down on the couches and
laugh and take pictures together. I just stare and noticed a tall girl with a
pony tail and a pink bow in her hair, looking at me but I turn away and get
back to cleaning up the mess I just made.
////////////////////////////////////////////
 
God I need a cigarette. Work finishes up around 4:30, my boss decided to let me
go early since I worked so hard. She even gave me some of the tip money 50$. I
walk down to the back of town toward the train station. There's no trains here
so I step onto the tracks and hop on to the other side and lean against a
building wall. I take the packet of my favorite brand, Checkered cigarettes and
pull one out. I place it on my lips and grab my silver lighter. I light it up
and inhale slowly as the nicotine coats my mind and then exhale it back into
the world. I stand their checking my phone scrolling through my Facebook. All
of a sudden a girl appears out of the the alley way. She has long blonde hair
with one pink streak and is wearing a black band shirt and a black and gray
stripped sweater and dark gray jeans and dark purple sneakers.
"Hey." She says and leans up against the wall next to me. I'm at a loss for
words. she so stunning. Her blue eyes stare into my green eyes.
"Sup." I say nervously and she laughs.
" Can I smoke with you ?" She asks and I nod my head yes. She whips out her own
pack of Mountains and lights one up so gracefully.
"So what are you doing out here on your own?" She asks me while looking off
into the distance of the train parking lot.
" I uh I come here to think I guess, not really any specific reason..." I say
looking down.
" Well if you aren't busy you should come to my friends house with me later.
He's having a party and it's gonna be really fun." She says looking at me, her
face is so perfect I need to capture it.
" I can probably sneak out. One question, can I take a picture of you? " I ask
without hesitation.
" Ha sure why not ?" And she poses looking at me while smoke expels out the tip
of cigarette as she holds it to her lips. I hit the capture button on my phone
and the moment is saved forever.
I walk back to my house and she heads the other way toward the abandoned part
of town. She gave me her number and I hold it close to my chest. I open the
front door to my house and mom my and dad surprisingly are sitting in the
kitchen. I run upstairs before they smell me but my mom stops me in my tracks.
"Aki where have you been you are late. And what's the awful smell?" She says in
a stern tone.
"Nothing." I say.
" Aki you better not talk to your mother that way that's disrespectful you. You
are so one way." My dad says to chime in on the game "let's pick on Aki".
"Aki I got a call from the school saying you are skipping classes. That better
not be true, you better not be skipping class. I can't believe you would do
such a thing."
My mother starts to go on and on about how I'm such a trouble child and how
she's disappointment and how I won't get into college, blah blah blah...after
10 minutes I just stop listening and continue walking upstairs to my room. I
slam the door shut and lock it. I hear my mother shout my name and tell me to
come back. I heard louder foot steps which belong to my dad.
" You little brat you better come down stairs and apologize."  He yells through
the door.
" fuck off." I say loud but stern.
" You can't talk to me like. You're so selfish! Bitch! Don't even think about
going out for a 2 months." He yells through the door trying to opening it with
no luck.
" I don't give a shit." I say as I pack my bag to leave the house later.
I heard my father screaming at about how my mother needs to train me better as
if I was some dog. My dads voice gets farther away from the door and I run to
the door and put my ear against it to listen. I hear him arguing with my mom.
He's probably right anyways, I hate everything and I just want to suffocate so
I don't have to deal with this anymore. I pack my backpack with 2 pairs of
underwear, a white graphic tshirt and jean shorts, along with deodorant a tooth
brush and my makeup pouch. And I leave it on my bed and check myself in the
mirror before I leave. I look at my messy curls and my bags under my eyes and
my fat thighs. I'm so ugly I don't know why I'm even going out everyone is
going to see how ugly I am.
I attempt to climb out the window beside my bed since there's small amount of
roof to sit on. The jump is about 7 ft and before I attempt it I see the blonde
girl again in my backyard. How did she know where I lived?
"Hey up there I don't think jumping without help is a good idea." She says as
she smiles with her red lipstick on.
"What are you suggesting you are gonna catch me ?" I say nervously.
"Hell yea I am haha, now get ready to jump in my arms!" She says.
I get closer to the edge and I ready myself to jump, to just let go of the
building behind me and all the memories it had created into my soul. I feel
myself in the air for a moment and then suddenly it turns into crash landing on
top of her. My face turns several shades of red and surprisingly hers does too.
" Oh uh I'm sorry I didn't mean to land on you haha..." I say trying not to
trip on my words.
" It's uh it's not an problem...we gotta fall before we fly haha." she says
nervously quotes.
We both get up and run out of my yard before my parents hear us talking. We
start to head back toward the more empty part of town. I realize out of all my
mistakes I've never asked her what her name was!
" Hey I should have asked before but uh what's your name ?" I ask while walking
along the side walk with her.
" My name? You never told me yours." She exclaims.
" Oh my gosh I'm so sorry my name is Aki, Aki Zora."
" That's a cute name." She says realizing she hasn't told me hers.
" Oh right! My name is Rei Haruko."
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